i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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