I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
