Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
