Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
