Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
