I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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