I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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