The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
