Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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