I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
