real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
