Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
