My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize