Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
