Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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