Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
