he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
