So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
