Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
