Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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