You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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