Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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