He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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