Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
