That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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