Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
