found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
