I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
How does one acquire holy water?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
