Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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