So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just had sex on a roof
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
