It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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