Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
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