He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
