I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
