i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
