Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
