he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
