my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I wear drunk well.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
