My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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