Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
