Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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