You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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