I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
