sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Also, beer. Big fan.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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