so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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