Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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