So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
