We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
