if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
