I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
