..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
