Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize