he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
