what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you told grandpa to call you daddy
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
