Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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