I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
