she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
