sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
