She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
